I cried the whole way home from the fertility clinic yesterday. Although we’ve been going through this for almost two years, at that moment, I finally realized that my journey was really just beginning. And despite the support network that I am lucky enough to have, I realized that it definitely wasn’t going to be enough. At the exact moment that those thoughts ran through my head, I glanced at the clock. It read 11:11.
After my near death experience when I was 5, I became obsessed with the number 11. I didn’t realize it at the time, but I now believe that angels communicate to me using the number 11. After glancing at the clock, I took a deep breath and knew that although it didn’t feel like it was, it was going to be ok. Because I actually DO have a support network, it just may not be one that’s always visible. And in case I needed another reminder, something even crazier happened.
You know when you look at something when it’s bright outside and then you blink and look away and you can still see the outline, in a sort of blue light within your vision? And it stays there for a few blinks until the shape goes away? Suddenly I started to see a symbol appear in my eye line in that same shadowy blue light. It looked familiar, but I couldn’t quite place it, so I kept blinking. Each time I would reopen my eyes the symbol was still in my eye line. After twenty or so blinks, I knew it wasn’t from the sun, it was a message. That’s when I realized, it was the OM symbol!
I don’t do yoga, and as much as I would love to say I meditate, I have a super hard time meditating, so the OM symbol doesn’t really have a place in my everyday life, and I certainly hadn’t just seen one to cause this within my vision. This was clearly a message. I don’t know what the future holds, but it does feel nice to know that I’m not alone on this journey.
Being Gentle With Myself
I’ve been taking it easy as much as possible. A little bit of work here, and a lot of rest there. One thing I made sure to do this morning was some Reiki on myself before getting out of bed. I recited the Reiki principles to myself before I got up, to be sure that I started my day on a more positive note. These Reiki principles are things that anyone can benefit from, no matter what their beliefs, so I wanted to share them with you today in case they may be of help to you too.
The 5 Reiki Principles
- Just for today, I will not worry.
- Just for today, I will not be angry.
- Just for today, I will be grateful
- Just for today, I will do my work honestly.
- Just for today, I will be kind to every living thing.
I made a little printable version of the 5 Reiki Principles for myself to hang up on my bulletin board for the next few weeks, to remind me to keep up my morning Reiki routine. I didn’t do any fancy designs, just a pretty font in black and white for easy printing. I thought I would share it with you as well, in case it might help you too! Thank you for being with me on this journey. XO