Pregnant in a Pandemic: Thoughts About Health and Destiny on my 38th Birthday

July 25, 2020

Pregnant in a Pandemic: Health, Destiny, and My 38th Birthday


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“I reject that statement. You don’t determine my destiny, only God does.” This became my life motto several years ago, almost by accident. Although I don’t believe in accidents. I was at the very beginning stages of learning to trust my body after changing my diet and stopping gluten about 7 years earlier.

I had started to feel a lot better and felt like I was finally making some progress with my health. The quarterly sinus infections and semi-annual bronchitis and pneumonia episodes were becoming fewer each year.

Suddenly, I Couldn’t Move My Hands

Then suddenly, a few years into my healing process, I woke up one morning and could barely move my hands. I had no idea what was going on as more symptoms began appearing over the next few weeks. My eyes were so itchy, it was uncomfortable to have them open. My wrists and hands would burn in pain even when I was resting them. I remember going out to my (now) husband’s Jeep at the time, and my thumb hurt so badly that I couldn’t push in on the door handle to open my door and he had to come and open it for me.

My fatigue had gotten so severe that I was astonished when, after a long day of sitting on the couch because it was so painful to get up to even go to the bathroom, I read my pedometer. It didn’t show the 10,000 steps that I was accustomed to getting each day. It read 300. I immediately began to cry.

I was 32 years old. I had worked so hard for years to build a thriving business. This was the first time in 7 years that I was able to take some time off and enjoy the fruits of my labor. I had finally met an amazing guy. I was living in one of the most beautiful cities in the country with outdoor activities all around me that tourists flocked to see, and I was a prisoner on my couch.

Rheumatoid Arthritis

What I soon found out was that I was having symptoms of Rheumatoid Arthritis, an auto-immune disease for which there is no cure. Luckily, I didn’t give up when the doctors told me “there wasn’t much” that I could do. So, I started researching.

Lifestyle Changes

I got acupuncture. I took herbs. I changed my diet. I cut out gluten, dairy, soy, and grains. I ate only organic food. I meditated. I read books. I asked questions. I removed chemicals from my life. I cut out any cleaning products with fragrances. I learned about hormone disruptors and estrogen dominance. I was a woman on a mission. And I put myself into remission.

The Fertility Journey

So, when a few years later doctor’s told us that there was only a 5 percent chance that we could have a baby without IVF, you know what my first thought was? “I reject that statement. You don’t determine my destiny, only God does.”

Did I have a million moments of doubt and wondering if those doctors and nurses might be right? Of course. But you know what else I had? Years of experience learning to trust my body, listening to my intuition, and KNOWING that my body knows what it’s doing and is always trying to help me.

So, to say that it’s surreal to be celebrating my 38th birthday today, 8.5 months pregnant (without IVF) with the baby girl that I’ve prayed for my entire life, would be an understatement.

Pregnant in a Pandemic: Thoughts About Health and Destiny on my 38th Birthday

So What Does That Mean For You?

“That’s great,” you may be thinking. But what does all of that mean for me? Well, it means that you can trust your body too. Do viruses exist? Yes. Do genetics exist? Of course. Do some people have to work MUCH harder than others to keep their bodies in homeostasis? Certainly. But guess what else exists? Epigenetics. And those genes are shaped by your actions EVERY. SINGLE. DAY.

That means that you literally have the ability to change the way that your own genes express themselves with each lifestyle decision that you make. How empowering is that!? You have control over what you consume (spiritually, emotionally, physically, and energetically.) You have control over your own thoughts, which literally create the energy surrounding you. You have the ability to decide what information you want to accept from others and what you want to put more research into.

Change Is Possible

You live in an era of infinite possibilities. You can fund acupuncturists, Reiki healers, sound healing drum circles, western medicine specialists, expert surgeons, chakra balancing crystals, and ayahuasca ceremonies with just a click of a button. So why not explore the ones that strike your fancy?

Who Determines Destiny?

I spent the first 27 years of my life not trusting my body and thinking that I was just born with a “bad immune system.” But guess what? God doesn’t make mistakes.

God Doesn’t Make Mistakes

Just because a doctor tells you that there’s nothing that you can do, or you hear something on the news about the latest health scare, or a family member breaks the news that you were “just born that way?” Start rejecting those statements and see what happens. Say it with me now: I reject that statement. You don’t determine my destiny, only God does.

If you try it, please let me know what happens! I know for me, it’s been life-changing. And I imagine, with the delivery of my first baby coming up, I am going to have to use that same mantra many times in the future. From managing my own thoughts in the delivery room, to fighting back against the many opinions that I will be hearing from strangers and family alike for the rest of my life as a Mom.

I wouldn’t say that it’s been an easy 37 years up to this point, but it’s definitely been worth it. Now, I can’t wait to see what lessons I will be learning as a new Mom in my 38th year on this planet.

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